Imposterhood Blog

The CSFs that corporates can learn from small business

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 03:27:00 GMT

Yesterday, I blogged about the implications for organisations in the higher demand for tacit skills and knowledge in the 2020 workplace, according to authors Jeanne C. Meister and Karie Willyerd. Today, I continue looking at organisations and the predictions for what a 2020 workplace will look like.

The authors put forward a crystal ball prediction for the 2020 workplace including 5 principles that will resonate strongly in the workplace (tomorrow's blog) and 20 predictions of what the workplace will look like. As I went through the 20 predictions, I recognised all of them as qualities that define the way a solopreneur or small business owner already operates. Here are just 3 of them:

1. You will be hired and promoted based upon your reputation capital.

That is certainly a major part of any small business securing work. Firstly, "can you do the work?" and secondly, "do I respect you and want to work with you?"

2. Job requirements for CEO's will include blogging.

Those of us who recognise that offering value, sharing information and positioning our expertise is a critical success factor in business are already doing that.

3. Lifelong learning will be a business requirement.

As solopreneurs or owners of small business, we know that if we aren't at the leading edge of knowledge in our area of expertise, we are diminishing our own value; Plus we also know that we need to grow as human beings, because we are our product or service.

Working on your own, or in a small business is not the same experience as working in the corporate environment. Solopreneurs and small-business owners have greater freedom about the way we operate, the hours we work, how we structure what we do; we set our fees and we decide what we're going to offer the world. However, there is a price to pay for that freedom. We experience fear and uncertainty because the buck stops with us. We are the Visionary, the strategist, the business development person, the person who creates or sources our products and services, the person who delivers them, the customer service person, the financial controller and the accounts clerk. If we lose traction for any reason, we can go under. Working for yourself without the structure, resources and protection of a corporation around you, is the greatest personal development programme you will ever participate in.

Any environment that creates uncertainty has the potential to trigger peoples' feelings of imposterhood. Solopreneurship and small business ownership does that for many of us already. If the original research by Clance & Imes holds true, 70% of people on the line inside the corporate environment will have experienced the imposter syndrome too. With the prediction of a 2020 workplace, it's going to create uncertainty across the board and dealing with the imposter syndrome may become an even more obvious Critical Success Factor.

The opportunity for organisations to prepare for this brave new corporate environment is to recognise that personal development is the key to business performance.

What do you think? I'd love to hear.

All the very best

Suzanne

Is Imposterhood a barrier to accessing Tacit knowledge?

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 01:26:00 GMT

As a result of reading "The 2020 Workplace" (Jeanne C. Meister & Karie Willyerd, 2010), I have been thinking about workplaces today and in the future. According to the authors, the 2020 workplace will be a whole new game driven by 5 generations in the workplace together, mobile technology, individuation of work conditions and incentives, acceptance of lifetime learning and corporate social responsibility. The concept of the knowledge economy will shift and the more technical work will demand what the authors call "conceptual tacit skills".

Tacit knowledge and skills are personal skills that are hard to transfer to others. The individual may not naturally recognise and appreciate these skills as valuable or unique. Examples of tacit skills and knowledge include habits and culture that form the backbone of the way we interact with the world around us, or riding a bicycle, or a child learning a language. The authors define the key tacit skills in an organisational context as problem solving, judgement, listening, data analysis, relationship building, collaborating and communicating with co-workers.

Where the tacit knowledge and skills are considered valuable by an organisation, there is considerable motivation to transform those tacit skills into explicit skills which can then be transferred to others. And this is where the Imposter Syndrome comes in.

The Imposter Syndrome hits talented and successful people. However, people who are in the grip of feeling like a fake or fraud do not value their strengths or accomplishments. At a core level, they don't think they're good enough; that don't measure up. They often believe that if they can do something, it's not exactly rocket science. And the less tangible something is, the more likely they are to be uncertain about whether it is of value and whether they measure up.

If organisations are going to successfully tap into the tacit knowledge and skills of their talented employees, they need to help people understand the value of who they are as well as what they know. That means they will need to help us value ourselves as human beings so we can actively contribute to organisational performance. While many are doing this already with concepts like "talent management", most organisations are not and may get left behind well before 2020!

What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne

Fake it til you make it vs. authenticity

Thu, 27 May 2010 01:57:00 GMT

Questions that come up at the end of a presentation help me understand how I can support people to understand better what they may be experiencing or to address some of the arguments that come up in their minds. One of the ones that comes up regularly relates to the old catchphrase of 'fake it til you make it' which means to imitate confidence so that as the confidence produces success, it will generate real confidence. People want to know whether faking it til you make it gets in the way of authenticity.

To me, faking it til you make it certainly produces a more positive result than retreating - in the short term. However, it involves denying how I feel - sweeping those feelings under the rug and patting it down. In other words, hiding the lack of confidence I feel which comes from fear and the feeling of being 'not good enough' as we are. That feeling is real, the thinking behind it is not. If we could see who we really are, we would never doubt that we are good enough again.

Cary Grant was probably the most famous proponent of fake it til you make it. He openly admitted that he created the Cary Grant "character" and said he knew the kind of man he wanted to be - and after years of pretending he finally became that man. Cary Grant had a very troubled childhood - his mother disappeared when he was 9 years old - so no doubt he had a mask or two in place. Perhaps faking it was the best he could do with his understanding and resources at the time.

I do realise there are many ways to the centre of town and that my way is just one of those. I just don't think that glossing over such disapproval of ourselves is the answer. It brings to mind the biblical analogy that building your house on the sand means it has poor foundations that won't withstand any tests Putting masks on over a feeling of not good enough doesn't help us recognise the truth of who we are which is pure possibility.

Fake it til you make it might seem like a great solution - it most likely would help you achieve desired results in the short-term. Longer-term, though, it is far better to be authentic - to truly see ourselves, accept our strengths and successes, accept that we have weaknesses and that everyone does. To journey towards an increased understanding of who we truly are, we need to accept that we create the whole of our reality through our habitual thoughts and beliefs and that as creators, we can change those patterns (which is a similar principle to 'fake it til you make it').

The difference between 'fake it til you make it' and peeling back the masks to see who we truly are underneath is that the first approach comes from the space that we are not inherently good enough and therefore need to change who we are while the second approach comes from the space of accepting that who we truly are - beneath the layers of self-protection and the masks we hide behind - is absolutely perfect. One approach is denial and the other is acceptance.

What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne

Are you Imposturing?

Wed, 26 May 2010 09:22:00 GMT

When I talked about imposterhood in the early days, I was so excited that I'd discovered the reason I had sabotaged myself for so many years that I thought everyone else would be as excited as me. I was wrong. In more than one situation, I offended members of my audience who misunderstood me - for which I am responsible - and thought I was accusing them of being an imposter. These people became quite defensive and verbally attacked me in the middle of my presentation. I quickly recognised that others might not be as excited as I was about discovering their self-sabotage patterns. I became sensitive to the language of feeling versus reality - of feeling like a fake and fraud, of feeling not good enough.

Many of us confuse our identity with our behaviour and while the Imposter Syndrome refers to a faulty self-belief - which does relate to how we see ourselves - we are actually talking about feeling not good enough and the behaviour we engage in so we can protect ourselves from discovery and exposure.

It always felt as though I was walking on the glass of other peoples' sensitivities, so the problem has been sitting in the back of my mind for quite a while. In conversation with a colleague a few days ago, the solution emerged. When someone is triggered by uncertain circumstances into feeling vulnerable and is exhibiting the symptoms of the Imposter Syndrome, that person is "imposturing". They are engaged in the process of feeling like an imposter and engaging in the protective behaviours to avoid others seeing them that way.

I think it's a solution ... and I may well be kidding myself. This is, after all, a confrontational subject.

What do you think? I'd love to hear.

All the very best
Suzanne

Purpose helps you live longer!

Wed, 26 May 2010 06:32:00 GMT

I have been so passionate about Purpose and the power it has to lift us up beyond our fears and foibles, that I was absolutely delighted to have a friend point me in the direction of Dan Buettner's TED presentation on the optimal formula for longevity. Dan Buettner is a National Geographic Explorer and Writer. He was involved in a project called Blue Zone which was dedicated to identifying areas in the world where people lived longer lives and to exploring the reasons for their longevity.

The areas the Blue Zone Team visited were Okinawa, Japan, the Highlands of Sardinia and Loma Linda, California. The video is well worth viewing

Buettner arrives at 7 key tenets for longevity as a result of extensively studying these cultures. Finding and living our Purpose (or iki gi as the Japanese call it) was one of the principles and the Blue Zone team claim that Purpose can add up to 7 years to our lives.

My experience of Purpose goes back around 20 years when a friend, Jelena, asked me what my Purpose was. I totally surprised myself because out of my mouth came "To bring heart and soul into the corporate environment". That Purpose has guided my path in the intervening time and I have lived it to the best of my ability along the way.

When we live from Purpose, we step into possibility. We step beyond the fear and our self-imposed limitations and into being of service in some way. We think way beyond ourselves to the broader community. We give in the best way we can and while we don't do it for a return, we experience a feeling of fulfillment as a result of being of service.

I realise now that behind my Purpose is the recognition that so many of our workplaces are driven by fear which manifests in competition, winners and losers, in abuse and neglect, in manipulation and in scarcity. These conditions don't breed engaged employees making their contribution to the success of the organisation.

Taking this further, I realise that my purpose is about activating behavioural change through a mindset shift so our workplaces are more about kindness, opportunity, recognition, appreciation, support, growth, connection and community. Those are pretty big shoes and I trust I'm growing into them.

What's your Purpose? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne

Is the journey of life more challenging for a type A personality?

Mon, 24 May 2010 11:05:00 GMT

Over the past few months, I've had the opportunity to work with a number of people who would probably classify themselves as Type A personalities. According to Wikipedia, Type A's can be described as high-achieving workaholics who multi-task, drive themselves with deadlines, and are unhappy about delays. Because of these characteristics, Type A individuals are often described as stress junkies."

I think it would be fair to say that type A personalities are driven to achieve results. They are not driven to go on a journey with no marked path; a journey of indeterminate length and with an unknown destination or outcome.

I believe their need for outcomes and instant results makes it more challenging for them to undertake the life-long journey of rediscovering who we are and how we can be of service to the broader community, which will bring meaning and fulfillment to their lives.

What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne

Kindness movement: Wake up Sydney!

Tue, 18 May 2010 02:15:00 GMT

A friend of mine, Diego Villaveces (aka The Crazy Columbian) kindly invited me to a wonderful function on Thursday 3rd June. "Haven't you heard of 'Wake up Sydney'?" No, I hadn't. And I have now because I immediately checked it out.

Jono Fisher, the founder has a really inspirational story of life's amazing twists and turns. Having dropped out of corporate life, Jono took up a new career as a male nanny during which his life opened up in ways he couldn't have imagined. In his words, "I threw myself into a world of simplicity, children, nature and discovering what was really important to me." After some wonderful insights on life, it turns out what was important to him was to create a catalyst for Sydneysiders to come together in dialogue and inspiration. "Wake Up Sydney" was born. Take a look at their trailer for an idea of what they're doing.

Wake Up Sydney is part of a global movement with millions of members - a huge community committed to making a difference in this world we live in for now.

What I love about the work Jono is doing, now supported by many who love his passion and purpose, is that it is generous and authentic. A true journey to make a difference in the world. He leaves us with this thought: Now is the time for the tribes of Sydney to gather, collaborate, be entertained and accelerate this revolution toward a more kind, conscious and sustainable world.

I think that's an admirable Purpose, don't you? If you want to experience Wake Up Sydney, I believe there are still tickets left for the event on Thursday 3rd June. I'd love to see you there.

What do you think about the power and passion of living on Purpose? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne

Desire for instant gratification dulls desire to experience life's journey

Sun, 16 May 2010 11:33:00 GMT

So many of us are into instant gratification. We buy things when we don't have the money, just the credit. What happened to lay-by? We want a health practitioner to fix our health problems in an instant when they reflect a lifetime of indulgences. I remember wanting to play guitar, picking it up and getting frustrated because I didn't get it immediately. Needless to say, I don't play guitar now - something I still regret although not enough to do something about it. No, we're not good at waiting for much at all. If we have a problem, we want it solved NOW!

It's the same with personal development. We want to be "better" now. We don't want to go through the pain and angst of the journey during which we uncover the layers of garbage we've covered ourselves in - the masks, the protective mechanisms, the double brick defenses. But unless we're willing to go on the journey, nothing changes. Remember the definition of insanity? Well, wanting things to be different in our lives but not being willing to change what we do is just that.

How can we get past the self-imposed limitations and how can we see who we truly are and what we're capable of if we're not willing to go on the journey? Yes, the journey involves entering the unknown. We know what it feels like to be who we are in the world right now. We don't know what it will mean to be real.

In my experience, the journey is filled with challenges, certainly. Unlearning old habits isn't easy. It can take a while before we pick up what's happening and then give ourselves the choice to change it. The journey isn't always pretty - crucial and real conversations ask a lot of us. The upside though is an increased liking of myself, a lighter feeling, more joy for no apparent reason. So, yes, this journey has its challenges. The upside, though, is so much more than I had ever imagined. And I'm even getting a handle on the instant gratification because I do think it stops us from making the tough decisions that come along the road.

What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne

Is Imposterhood an outcome of the information age?

Sun, 16 May 2010 04:25:00 GMT

Recently, I participated in the Hire and Rental Industry Association Conference on the Gold Coast. I've been fortunate enough to work with this association over the past 3 years and am constantly reminded of how wonderful these people are. They are genuine, down to earth, caring and treat each other as family. Many of them own and run family businesses, and a high proportion of them are very wealthy. I've now been embraced as part of the family by those I've worked with over the time. I really enjoy being around them and truly experience that what you see is what you get with the people who own and run the hire and rental businesses.

As it often does, my thoughts went to exploring the differences between these people and some of the other people I work with. Now, I believe people are people and it's not that one person is a warmer, kinder, more genuine person than another. I think it's contextual.

My hire and rental clients / colleagues work in an area where they buy and rent out equipment of some kind. Their work is tangible. They can see what they do on a day-to-day basis. They can assess a piece of equipment in terms of its functionality, appearance, quality and so on, on objective criteria. Their equipment is used for tangible projects from DIY to building bridges and buildings.

On the other hand, many of my other clients work with ideas and information (as I do). Intangible! How do you compare one idea with another? Who can assess the idea or information on objective criteria? Given that we interpret life around us according to our own filters, it is unlikely that we would come up with "objective" criteria that we would agree with 100% anyway. How do we know if we have thought up something worthwhile? How do we know if we are intelligent particularly now that we are more broadly focussed than IQ? When we are dealing with something as intangible as an idea or information, I believe we are more likely to doubt ourselves. Even Einstein was quoted as saying "I have no particular talent. I am merely curious!"

Many of you have heard me talk about what causes the imposter syndrome. and those feelings of being a fake and fraud, not good enough. I talk of the perfection driver and citicism, both of which set us up to experience feelings of imposterhood. When something goes wrong with a piece of equipment, or it doesn't deliver to expectations, that something can be fixed. It's about the equipment. However, when something goes wrong with our thinking, our ideas or something that emanates from that thinking, we tend to make it about us - who we are not what what we did - and that reinforces that feeling of not being good enough.

I think an influence on feelings of imposterhood - not necessarily a criteria for imposterhood - is whether we work in an area which is intangible and which involves our unique intelligence and perspective.

What do you think? I'd love to hear.

All the very best
Suzanne

Rapport building - genuine connection or manipulation?

Sun, 16 May 2010 03:57:00 GMT

Rapport building is essential to establish a connection and develop a relationship at some level. We have all had occasions on which we have just gelled with someone - really connected - and started talking as though we've known each other for years. That is natural and true rapport. We may also have experienced situations where someone tried so hard - perhaps too hard - to connect with us and it didn't feel right.

We can create rapport intentionally with people we meet by seeking to find values and views we have in common to set up the foundation and framework for developing a relationship. We certainly find it easier to get into rapport with some people than with others. My question is this. When we purposely seek to create rapport with someone, are we being authentic or manipulative?

My belief is that if we are connecting on the basis of genuine values and views, we are at least identifying an authentic foundation for the relationship. On top of that, if our intention is one that is either mutually beneficial or serves a higher purpose than our own needs and desires, it is authentic and not manipulative. On the other hand, if the rapport is built on sand - in other words, one person is making out that they hold certain values and views and they are simply not true for that person - then that is a shaky foundation. And if their intention is to serve their own purpose, then I do believe their attempts to build rapport are manipulative.

I also believe that most of us have a reasonably good BS detector and can, at some level, pick up the incongruence.

What do you think? I'd love to hear
All the very best
Suzanne

Purpose is so powerful!

Thu, 27 May 2010 02:07:00 GMT

On Friday, I had the opportunity of hearing Ronni Kahn speak. As you may already know, Ronni is the founder of OzHarvest and our newly named Local Hero. After a successful career in Event management, she was driven to find a way of making a difference. She talked of her trip to the US and meeting the founder of AmericaHarvest who encouraged her to set up OzHarvest - a food rescue organisation. The many supporters of OzHarvest go to top restaurants, catering facilities, even MasterChef to collect their unused and untouched food for distribution to 165 Charitable Agencies which have responsibility for feeding their needy. These people who might otherwise have gone hungry or had to scramble around for whatever they could scrounge get to eat with dignity and style - some even get a 3 course restaurant quality meal!

Those are the facts. Here's what got me.

When Ronni speaks of her journey, she is so passionate and emotionally engaged that we are there with her. She talks of how things simply fell into place when she decided what she was going to do - and that's not to deny the hardwork that was also involved. She was in flow. I don't know if Ronnie ever suffered from feelings of imposterhood. I do know that she was able to look at her skills, experience and qualities objectively when she asked herself the question "How can I contribute?" She set up OzHarvest as a way of meeting a practical need with dignity, love and respect for those she was in service to. She became an advocate for amending the civil liabilities law so people who donated food were not legally exposed. She is fierce in her determination to spread the love, and her audience including me really wanted to be part of such a powerful and passionate crusade.

Stepping back into my 'Purpose to Profit' and authenticity role, Ronni showed just how powerful being connected to our purpose can be. Her passion enrolled others including serious investors, engaging them emotionally, even spiritually. It's an intoxicating feeling to be around someone who has clearly found her way forward; her way to make a difference. Her experience of flow is common to those who work from their purpose. People wanting to support her is a direct response to the power of her passion for what she is doing.

Is there one purpose for us? In other words, are we here to fulfill our true life's purpose? Perhaps not in the way many of us understand. I believe we are here to rediscover who we really are; to gradually peel back the layers our human experience have wrapped us in. Is that so important, though, if working from purpose allows us to see those finer qualities that we so vehemently deny when we're in our imposter phase? We get to see who we really are and that allows us to put our self-imposed limitations into perspective. We create the whole of our reality. Why not create a reality filled with passion and purpose? And why not make a difference in some way today?

What do you think? I'd love to hear.
All the very best
Suzanne

PS. Ronni and OzHarvest are running a fabulous promotion on Wednesday 19th May. You're invited to donate what you would normally spend on your lunch - for a sandwich and drink or even more - to feed numerous people through Ozharvest. Check it out.

Judgement keeps rearing it's ugly head

Thu, 27 May 2010 02:11:00 GMT

A while back, I had extended business dealings with an acquaintance. This person had been pretty upfront about her views on the way we would work together which I was pleased about. What I wasn't pleased about was the way I was treated during the period of time we worked together. I became increasingly frustrated, disappointed and, towards the end of our time working together, even angry. I felt slighted; my ego was bent out of shape. At the conclusion of our time together, I breathed a sigh of relief yet every time I thought about this person, I became quite agitated. I realised it wasn't over for me.

So, I sat down and wrote out the positives and negatives of the experience. I was surprised that they were out of balance, but on the side of positive outcomes, not negative. I realised that I had so much to be grateful for that had come directly from our business relationship. How could I not have seen that at the time? I could have saved myself heaps of angst!

What I also realised was that in my evaluation, I placed more value on the positive outcomes than the non-positive outcomes. Yet I teach people that there is equal value in both sides of the equation. From the "not so positive" side of the equation, when I allow myself to acknowledge my feelings come the lessons and the opportunities to grow.

A third, and key realisation was that I had taken situations in this working relationship and interpreted them according to my values, my beliefs and my filters. I had judged what the other person's behaviours meant and I related them back to me. I'm sure with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight that I was hallucinating. In all likelihood her behaviour had nothing to do with me. The key here is to identify information and to accept it as just that - without entering into a positive or negative judgement about what it means.

Judgement closes us in and detracts from our wisdom because we filter a situation through our own way of looking at the world, not allowing for other possibilities ... until we get that it's just information and we allow ourselves to hold that space. Not always easy.

What do you think? I'd love to know.

All the very best
Suzanne

Life conspires ... how do we respond?

Thu, 13 May 2010 10:16:00 GMT

Life throws challenges at us - it doesn't matter who we are. We may handle those challenges by going into victim mode or playing out high drama or we may see those challenges simply as information that we can learn from and respond to.

Now, this might not sound like a huge problem to you, but this morning I lost my diary. I have tried running an electronic diary - I just don't connect to it. I don't remember what I have on. I can't see it. in my mind's eye. On the other hand, when I write something into my diary, I have a visual memory of it and I then don't need to refer to my diary to see what I have on. (And yes, I'm a baby boomer with limited technical expertise). With my old-fashioned diary, I feel more in control of my life. Plus, my diary has all my access codes (in code of course) for all the different accounts we have these days. So, one of the lessons I got from the missing diary is that I need a list of all my access codes in another location so I don't get caught out.

At one stage, I would have gone into a complete tizz about it, panicking about how I was going to track down all the appointments beyond the next two weeks. It is a measure of the miles these feet have walked that I was incredibly calm. I made my list of the places I had been - called and either spoke with people or left messages. No luck. Yet, I am still calm - I believe it will be returned to me.

When I thought of the episode (and a few others that have occurred over the past few weeks in the context of life throwing challenges ...) I remembered a fabulous cartoon from Hugh Macleod of Gaping Void. I thought I'd share it (and him) with you. His messages are simple and incredibly powerful.

So, the next time life throws a challenge at you, use it as an opportunity to remember that you are so much more than you might think at times and that these are simply opportunities to correct your bearings on this amazing journey of ours.

What do you think? I'd love to know.

All the very best

Suzanne

Finding your authentic voice or "how to change the world"

Mon, 10 May 2010 09:57:00 GMT

About 3 weeks ago, a colleague Gary Sholz from Project Balance sent me the link to an amazing video. John Francis became an environmentalist after seeing 2 oil tankers collide under the Golden Gate Bridge in 1971, spilling more than a half-million gallons of oil. He saw the oozing sludge, witnessed the birds and wildlife dying and responded by giving up driving or riding in a car. He took his banjo and started walking. Not just that, when he got tired of arguing with friends about what he was doing and whether one man could make a difference, he stopped talking too. In the external silence, the internal voices started to go quiet and he got to know who he really was.

He received a university education and started teaching - all without using his voice. He wound up in Washington writing oil pollution regulations. He had found his voice on an issue he was passionate about.

To hear and see his journey to authenticity, watch the video.

John Francis' story really touched me. He had the courage of his convictions. He truly believed that one man could make a difference and he set out to prove it.

While we don't need to go to that extreme, we can learn or be reminded of some important lessons through his message:

If we are silent, we can actually hear that noisy voice in our head telling us what to do, what not to do, judging ourselves and judging others. That voice is there most of the time, talking to us, and we just don't notice it. If the voice is supporting and encouraging us, great. Most commonly, though, it is reinforcing self-imposed limitations. After a while of not "feeding" the voice in our heads, it goes away. Those of us who meditate have experienced the peace that comes in place of the voice.
In the ensuing silence, Francis was able to question how he perceived himself as a human being and a black man, and question his unconscious responses.
Having identified what was important to him, he had the courage to live by his convictions. All it took for Francis was 17 years of silence and a pilgrimage across the U.S. After educating himself , he wound up in Washington, named as the Environmental Ambassador for the U.S. and writing oil pollution regulations. After inspiring people he encountered over his 17 years of silence, he was finally putting practical solutions in place.

The question for us is: "What do we need to do in order to see who we really are, what is important to us and to speak from our authenticity?" I can assure you, it's not always easy and it is worthwhile.

What do you think about finding your authentic voice? I'd love to hear.

All the very best
Suzanne

Gratitude - broaden the focus

Sun, 09 May 2010 01:36:00 GMT

I had the pleasure of listening to a colleague Robin MacKee (the Clown Doctor) speak last week. She talked of working with young children who have serious and in some cases terminal illness and that being around these young children who embrace life - given half a chance - has made her very aware of all that we have to be grateful for.

She is absolutely right and I strongly advocate examining who we are and what we're fortunate enough to be surrounded with - love, friends, family, children (human and furry), homes, nature, beautiful weather and so on. Being in the space of gratitude and appreciation really shifts our energy. We can look at a loved one with frustration and regret because we're looking at the faults - and we all have them. We can shift entirely how we feel by focussing on the qualities that make us love that person and we can feel our hearts expand as we re-experience that love.

However, that's only part of the story. Harking back to my blog on "Glass Half Full isn't the whole story", when we only look at the situations we consider 'positive', we're ignoring the opposite. We can't have light without dark. When we are only grateful for the 'positive' things in our life, we are exercising judgement that what we consider 'positive' is good and what we perceive as 'negative' is bad. Actually, the "not so great" situations around us teach us the most. They provide us with information on what is really going on for us and that information is incredibly valuable on our journey towards understanding who we really are and how we hide that being behind masks and dysfunctional protective behaviours.

I think we have lots to be grateful for and it all serves our needs.

What do you think? I'd love to know.
All the very best
Suzanne